Crushed Dreams

There is this place where I want to be at someday.
This place is not on the ground - and no, it's not heaven I'm talking about.
I want to be at the front, at that special place with lots of buttons to push.


BUT I CAN'T.
I CAN'T BE WHAT I WANT TO.
I CAN'T BE A PILOT.

Using the simplest word possible, MY DREAM IS NOW CRUSHED.


I feel like laughing as I write these. WHY IS MY DREAM NOW CRUSHED?


Why is it crushed? BECAUSE I DON'T MAJOR IN PHYSICS. BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH A TERRIBLE EYESIGHT. BUT WHO AM I TO COMPLAIN TO ALLAH FOR THIS GREATNESS HE HAS GIVEN ME?


Well, yeah, it hurts a lot that I can't be a pilot. My father told me that I can be a stewardess instead since I have a good command of Malay and English... but that's not where I want to be. I might give it a shot, though - just so I can fly and get cooped up in a plane for hours.


My original dream was to be a journalist and I think you can see why from my writing.
I love words. Hell. I love to chew on them.
WORDS CAN BREAK SOMEONE'S HEART BUT WORDS CAN ALSO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER.


Being around words was what I've dreamed of but as the thought and excitement of being a pilot came, I realized that the dream had gotten dull. 
I began to despise it. So much.


But words has always been there for me. And now that the hurt of my dreams being crushed has gone, I found myself turning to embrace my passion for words once again. I love words for being a wall I can lean against at any time, and I love it for being a hero that I can fall back on at any time.


I've worked for it since forever. Now I'm halfway there. Tell me, WHY SHOULD I STOP?
There's no reason for me to stop, so NO I WON'T STOP. AND YES, I'LL GO ON.


I won't let go of my dreams. I may fail in so many things now, but I'm gonna make sure the failures I make now will be the steps to my success!

I am Me

Who am I lying to?
I cannot do this!


Oh, hi! Hello!
You're reading this? Are you?
Oh, yeah you are.
Right?


Whatever happens. I'm not gonna lie.
I know who I am. I am an almost 17 year old Malay girl. 
And I like to speak English. I like to write in English. 
And no, I have never forgotten who I am.
I know I was born in Malaysia, and that I should speak Malay but there's nothing wrong in this, yeah? Speaking English, I mean.


By the way, my name is Nur Shahira. Nice to meet you. ^_^


I really have no idea what to tell about my life except that it's no different than anyone else's. I experience the same pain, the same hurt, the same happiness, etc. No biggie.
I work hard in life - or at least I try to - and I really want to make my parents proud.
THAT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.


There'll be more to come from my blog in the future.
Do visit and follow :D